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The Secret Seductress: Breaking the Destructive Cycle of Pornography
In the moment, pornography can be as exhilarating as any drug. But this drug doesn’t wear off: it retaliates! For many men and women, porn gives the temporary arousal they need. It gets the blood pumping, the pulse racing, and the adrenaline flowing. But when the drug wears off, all that’s left is shame as feelings of despair and emptiness take over. If you’ve ever thought “I can’t do this anymore,” “This is destroying my life,” or “I just can’t stop!” then The Secret Seductress is for you. We’re waging war on sexual addiction and sexual immorality. And we’re losing! Porn is not a respecter of persons. It is as common in the Christian community as in the culture. So many get sucked in and ensnared because our typical approaches only act as triage, stopping the initial bleeding. Healing from sexual addictions is not as simple as just pulling a plug and everything is fixed. Sex addictions are a symptom of deeper emotional and spiritual issues. If the deeper issues are not addressed, sooner or later the plug will just be reconnected. We must delve into the wounds of the heart, discover our true desires, and then learn alternative, healthy ways to find the love and nurture we need.

The Secret Seductress is an incredible resource for men’s groups, soul care groups, individual Bible study, individual therapy sessions, and therapeutic groups.

Recommended Reading


  • Seven Desires of Every Heart  (Mark & Debra Laaser)
  • The DNA of Relationships (Gary Smalley)
  • Secrets To Lasting Love (Gary Smalley)
  • The Five Love Languages (Gary Chapman)
  • The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work (John Gottman)
  • Love Is A Choice: The Definitive Book on Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships (Hemfelt, Minirth, and Meier)
  • Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love (Susan Johnson)

healthy sexuality:

  • 52 Ways To Have Fun, Fantastic Sex – A Guidebook For Married Couples (Joyce L. Penner)
  • Getting Your Sex Life Off to a Great Start – A Guide for Engaged and Newlywed Couples (Cliff and Joyce Penner)
  • The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment (Cliff and Joyce Penner)
  • The Way to Love Your Wife: Creating Greater Love & Passion in the Bedroom (Cliff and Joyce Penner)
  • How and When to Tell Your Kids about Sex: A Lifelong Approach to Shaping Your Child’s Sexual Character (Stan Jones)
  • A Celebration of Sex (Douglas Rosenau)
  • A Celebration of Sex After 50 (Douglas Rosenau)
  • When Two Become One (Christopher McCluskey, Rachel McCluskey)
  • Talking to Your Kids About Sex (Mark Laaser)
  • Restoring the Pleasure (Cliff Penner, Joyce Penner)
  • Soul Virgins: Redefining Single Sexuality (Douglas Rosenau, Michael Todd Wilson)
  • Secrets of Eve: Understanding The Mystery of Female Sexuality (Archibald D. Hart, Catherine Hart Weber, Debra L. Taylor)

homosexuality and sexual identity:

sexual addiction:

  • In The Shadows of The Net (Patrick Carnes)
  • Shadowed Vows (Debra Laaser)
  • Facing the Shadow: Starting Sexual and Relationship Recovery (Patrick Carnes)
  • Healing Wounds of Sexual Addiction (Mark Laaser)
  • The Secret Seductress: Breaking The Destructive Cycle of Pornography (Mark Laaser, Michael Christian)
  • Out of the Shadows (Patrick Carnes)
  • No Stones: Women Redeemed from Sexual Shame (Marnie Ferree)

partners of sex addicts:

  • Shattered Vows: Hope and Healing for Women Who Have Been Sexually Betrayed (Debra Laaser)
  • Facing Heartbreak (Stefanie Carnes)
  • Mending A Shattered Heart (Stefanie Carnes)
  • Your Sexually Addicted Spouse (Barbara Steffens and Marsha Means)
  • Stop Sex Addiction: Real Hope, True Freedom for Sex Addicts and Partners (Milton Magness)
  • Intimate Treason: Healing the Trauma for Partners Confronting Sex Addiction (Claudia Black and Cara Tripodi)


  • Codependent No More (Melody Beattie)
  • Beyond Codependency (Melody Beattie)
  • Living With Your Husband’s Secret Wars (Marsha Means)
  • Facing Codependency: What It Is, Where It Comes From, How It Sabotages Our Lives (Pia Mellody, Andrea Wells Miller and J. Keith Miller)

sexual abuse:

  • The Wounded Heart (Dan B. Allender)
  • Courage To Heal (Ellen Bass, Laura Davis)
  • Sexual Healing Journey (Wendy Maltz)
  • Mending the Soul: Understanding and Healing Abuse (Steven R. Tracy)

general reading:

  • The Voice of The Heart (Chipp Dodd)·
  • Boundaries (Henry Cloud, John Townsend)
  • Homecoming (John Bradshaw)
  • Healing the Shame That Binds You (John Bradshaw)
  • The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are (Brene Brown) 
  • I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t): Making the Journey from “What Will People Think?” to “I Am Enough” (Brene Brown)
  • Healing Trauma: Attachment, Mind, Body and Brain (Daniel Siegel and Marion Solomon)

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